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November 2012

The Walk Through Fire

Walk Through Fire

What are you hoping for? Praying for?
Do you trust God with it?

When I left for Denver, God asked me, “Are you going to trust me for the life that I have for you?” When it gets hard and I’m struggling to trust God that question still echoes.

Are you going to trust me for the life that I have for you?

In relationships, anger is unmet expectation. It’s expectation that hurts relationships. When I look at what hurts my relationship with God...its unmet expectations.

God promised joy, peace, provision, and a life fully alive in Him; and He has been faithful to those promises. Yet, it’s never enough. 

This conversation with God lies in the recesses of my heart:

“No. God? No, God. I won’t take what You give.
No, God, Your plans are a gutted, bleeding mess and I didn’t sign up for this
and You really thought I’d go for this?
No, God, this is ugly and this is a mess and can’t You get anything right?
Just haul all this pain out of here. I’ll take it from here, thanks.
And, God? Thanks for nothing.”

{Ann Voskamp}

When I’m tempted to tell God that I want my life back, a story surfaces. Three men are about to be killed by a King because they refuse to bow down to an idol he created. This is their response as they are about to be killed:

 “If we are thrown into a blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us…but even if He doesn’t, we want you to know that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

{Daniel 3:17-18, NIV}

When we’re struggling, and life isn’t Expectation turning out how we planned, when we’re riddled withdoubt, we have to lay our expectations atthe foot of the cross knowing that even if God doesn’t come through in the way we’re expecting, and life never turns out how we prayed it would, and love doesn’t win when we think it should…we still have to live with a heart set on God alone, not a set of worldly expectations.

“The demanding of my own will is the singular force that smothers out joy – nothing else. The secret to joy’s flame: Humbly let go. Fullness of joy is discovered only in the emptying of will. We can empty because we are full of His love.”

{Ann Voskamp}

My middle name {Ann} means “full of grace.” When I live full of His grace, I can trust Him.

When I start to fear and doubt, He asks me the same question he asked me before I moved to Denver, “Are you going to trust me for the life that I have for you?

Four years after God first asked me that question, I still have to answer every day with a life dedicated to Him, betting on Him, waiting on Him, trusting in Him…believing He is who He says He is.

That’s easy to say, and then life starts getting hard and bizarre, and lonely, and in that weak moment temptation always, always strikes. But even in that moment, when it looks like God might not come through, we are to bet on God, wait for God, and trust Him for the life He has for us.

Our God is able. Full hearts, even if He doesn't.

Love wins,